by Laurie Lankins Farley, Neale Donald Walsch and Emily A. Filmore
Do you have a question about a parenting situation you are dealing with right now? Do you wish you could get advice from another parent on how they would handle it? The rapid response team is here to help! Laurie, Neale and Emily answer questions from parents about parenting in the new spirituality. All you have to do to get immediate (within 24-48 hours) answers from our team is to CONTACT US.
You can read some previous questions and answers here:
Why should I teach these messages to my children? Shouldn't I just wait and let them figure it out for themselves?
Thank you for your question. We really do appreciate what you are saying and we wish to start by saying there is no right or wrong answer to this question. As with anything in the CwG messages, you decide what feels good to you and your family. So if you do not wish to share the messages with your child, then that is the answer for you and your child will tell you when he or she is ready. However, if you wish to share the messages but are not sure how to approach them with your child - we are here to help you!
I, personally, found the School of the New Spirituality after my daughter, four years old at the time, started voicing fear about God because of things she had heard from other people and books. I used the first lesson in the CwG4Kids.com (members area) curriculum to calm her fears and show her that God loves her just as she is and will not judge her. She understood from that lesson that God loves her, will never be mad at her (even if she makes a "mistake") and that God only wants her to be her happiest self. The clearing of fear and pain that I witnessed in this dawning of understanding convinced me that I wanted to be a part of this special work!
Many children, even at young ages, want to know and understand their place in the world. They want to feel One with the Universe, feel the love of others and understand their own spirituality...Who They Really Are! Our program is here to help parents share that gift of love and understanding with their children. Provided of course, that this is your desire! We are not here to tell you what to do or when, we only seek to serve you through support, community and lessons (if you choose).
Thank you and best to you and your family!
Emily A. Filmore
Creative Co-Director, CwGforParents.com
I am a grandparent of two wonderful children, a boy of 6 and a girl of 10. I have been reading the Conversations with God books for some time and would like to pass on some of the principles of the material to my grandchildren.
Their parents are busy working and running a home, and although they know something about CWG from my ramblings over the years(!), it is not yet a priority for them. The children are occupied with schoolwork, sports etc and that seems to fill their time.
When they visit I would love to explore the CWGfor Parents website with them but I do not want to go behind their parents backs, and if I mention it to them they may just dismiss it out of hand.
What would you suggest the best path to tread?!
Hello, Grandparent of two!
Thank you for posting your wonderful question. I am so excited to be able to answer this for you. My answer is a simple one, communicate! I feel that as Grandparents, you are the example for both your children and grandchildren. They both have the time to spend living what they have learned from you over the years. I am sure that the parents of your grandchildren would be happy to know that their kids are being mentored by someone they trust and who is happy to share and spend the time with them. Communicate your wishes to the parents, perhaps a specific topic from one of our 25 core principles listed on our site: You can also let them know that you are not adding any work to their, already busy, schedule but that you feel this will enrich your grandchildren's lives greatly. Since the parents see you living a CwG life in action they will probably understand how you feel the benefits will benefit the children.
I have, with my own children, struck up many conversations about various topics of CwG, and it has always led to a wonderful awakening for myself and my children. I have done this while riding in the car (to a sporting event, to a movie, to the store, etc.), doing the dinner dishes, pulling the weeds outside or walking the dog. Some of these conversations that I am talking about have completely changed the way my children go through, not only their day, but their years to come. One little conversation did all of that!
So, I would explain to all parties involved what your goal is and then begin. With honesty and transparency, the children's parents will be free to accept this as your gift to them and may even be relieved that you are taking this step in light of their busy lives. Our website, has many fantastic free resources and at we have amazing lessons/units that you can receive on a monthly basis for as little as $8.95 (USD per month) with curriculum written by Neale Donald Walsch, Emily Filmore and me as well. These lessons/units give you great insight on how to approach the conversation and the mentoring process of bringing Conversations with Godto your Grandchildren. And remember, we are always here to assist you on this wonderful, healthy quest. Please let me know how this goes for you, I will be here!
Laurie Lankins Farley
Director, School of the New Spirituality
Creative Co-Director, CwGforParents.com
I am so excited about this site and the opportunity to ask the question:
I work an exhausting number of hours (80+ hours a week) as an attorney and I while I enjoy my job I can't help feeling that I am missing so much of my daughter's life. Can you help me with suggestions of how I can help the time I do have with her be high quality? I want to be involved with her spirituality, her activities, her intellectual learning and her growth but sometimes it is overwhelming to know where to start.
Thank you for this important question. I feel this is a concern of so many parents today, especially fathers. First, I would like to commend you on your loving attitude toward your daughter and for taking the time to ask this question. I am going to answer in a way that may sound redundant to another question asked here but I feel it truly is a great way to be involved with your child no matter what your schedule. During dinner, tucking them in to bed, driving them to an activity or perhaps just that 10 minutes you are able to spend with them, ask them a question, one that will make them feel you truly (and you do!) want to know them. Ask them a question, perhaps like, "Did you do anything to help someone today?" and then allow them to answer. If you have a young child that answer can get a little long and go all over the place but I guarantee that they are going to be excited to tell you about their day. If their answer is "no" they didn't do anything to help anyone today, then reassure them that tomorrow is a new day and that you are excited to hear about it when you get home or done with work.
So, my answer to you, or any parent, would be to always ask them a question, strike up a conversation about life, God, love or all of the above! What this will do is always keep the line of communication open and your daughter will feel that you respect her, care about her life and her days and mostly that you love who she is. The biggest challenge as a parent is to have the patience to listen to them (even when they prattle on) and THEN put your thought in to the mix. Oh, and yes, it's ok if they disagree with you! And it's ok if you disagree with them! This is how you learn who they truly are even at a young age.
Scott, this was a great question, thank you!
All the best,
So glad to see parent resources here around the Conversations with God material. I have a question, I love the Little Soul and the Sun and Earth books but I have a hard time getting my 4 1/2-year-old to sit and listen long enough to finish the story. Do you have any suggestions on how I can get this concept through to her?
(posted from email by administration)
Thank you for your question. This is a great question because the Little Soul and the Sun (and Earth) books are so phenomenal.
Here is my suggestion, while you're reading the book allow your 4 ½ half year old to look at the pictures and ask her to explain from her own mind, observation and imagination what the pictures are showing, what the little soul is doing, etc. As she tells her story you can give input as to what is actually being portrayed in the text. For example, if your daughter says this is heaven and that that little boy is an angel; you can say, yes that is a little soul coming to earth. You can even go further and personalize it to refer to her own soul's journey.
By doing the above you will allow your child to tell/interpret the story while you interject details to make it more complete; after only a few times through the story she will understand (and retain) the concepts. She will have a wonderful understanding of the journey of little soul (and begin to understand that journey as her own) while enjoying the beautiful illustrations.
As she begins to ask more questions about her soul (and God), or you decide to share more information with her about spirituality, please remember that we have stand-alone lessons available on our website as well as membership opportunities.
Many blessings and much love!
Laurie Lankins Farley
Creative Co-Director, CwGforParents.com
Director, School of the New Spirituality
I think that a bit of background about the Illusion I have set up would be helpful for you to understand before answering my questions. I married a drug addict when I was 20, and had three children who are now teenagers. All of them are being treated for mental illness. Their father died of a drug overdose 9 years ago. I remarried a man who we have recently discovered has neurotoxin damage to the hippocampus of his brain, which also appears in his behaviors as mental illness (much like the brain damage caused by agent orange). My current husband and I have had three additional children, ages 7, 5, and 3. About three years ago, I was diagnosed with the stress related illnesses of hypoadrenia (adrenal exhaustion) and fibromyalgia with premenopausal complications. My doctor looked me in the eyes and told me if I continued on the path I was currently on, I would most assuredly die at a young age. This was no less than the famous midlife crisis everyone hears about. I immediately started making changes. I stopped home schooling my children, and they returned to public school. I left evangelical christian organized religion because it no longer spoke of the God I knew in my own experiences. I withdrew from most of my social relationships and spent many hours alone with Myself and God. It was during this time that CWG appeared in my awareness. CWG speaks of everything I know to be true about Life, God, and Who I Really Am. I just finished reading Communion with God this morning, and have many questions about Chapter 11: Teaching Your Children Well. I found this website by Google searching the Heartlight School Program mentioned in the closing of that book.
In Chapter 11, God says to teach my children that they are sufficient unto themselves. How do I accomplish that while giving them medications every morning to make their brains more sufficient? How do I do that when they are being singled out at school with special learning plans because they aren't like the other children? I am to teach my children that failure is a fiction, that there is nothing they are required to be or to do to be eligible for a life of dignity and fulfillment, that they need not compete with anyone for anything. That they will never be judged, that they need not worry about always getting it right, and that they do not have to change anything, or "get better". How do I accomplish this teaching when I am sending them to public school everyday? Are F's on a report card not worth mentioning because they are just an Illusion of Ignorance? Is it still success in the absence of any effort? Are parental imposed consequences for bad grades inappropriate if one seeks to live Life from the Ultimate Reality perspective, rather than from the perspective that the Illlusion is real? Am I to allow my teens freedom over their lives in order to show them that I love them unconditionally? Am I only to say "Yes" to my children because that is what God always says? How do I handle their refusal to be helpful at home or to make good choices (failing grades, pornography abuse, promiscuity, disrespect of parental wisdom and advise) without imposing unnatural consequences or punishments? It would appear to me that sometimes natural consequences come too late in the game and often limit opportunities for dignity and fulfillment.
God advises to teach children well with actions not words; with demonstrations not discussions. It is what I do or have done that my children will emulate? It is how I am that they will become? Does this mean that only by changing myself can I hope to help my children? Am I confusing being with doing here? I can see that there is something here that I do not understand, the understanding of which would change everything. I would appreciate any understanding you might impart.
Dear friend...You have asked 14 different questions here. Let’s see if we can respond to them one by one...
1. In Chapter 11, God says to teach my children that they are sufficient unto themselves. How do I accomplish that while giving them medications every morning to make their brains more sufficient?
Teach your children that the fact that they take medications does not mean that they are insufficient. On the contrary, the fact that they called just the right medications into their life is evidence of their inner sufficiency.
The Body is a mechanism, nothing more. It is not Who You Are. Sometimes a mechanism needs ongoing maintenance and repair. That is what medications are all about. And that is why many people take medicine. Billions of people, in fact, do so every day. This does not mean that those people are not sufficient unto themselves.
A person who is sufficient unto himself CREATES his sufficiency using all the resources of the world around him. One perfect example is the Internet. The worldwide web has made us MORE self-sufficient, not less. A person who uses it has CREATED sufficiency, not disproved it. The Internet has EMPOWERED us, not DISempowered us. We are more powerful as individuals now than we EVER were before the Internet. Does this mean that if we use the Internet that we are not “sufficient unto ourselves”? No. Just the opposite is true.
So, just as the computer science empowers us, so does medical science. Both are resources that exist outside of us that, if we use them wisely, render us more self-sufficient than ever.
2. How do I do that when they are being singled out at school with special learning plans because they aren't like the other children?
Your children are not being “singled out,” they are being treated as individuals (thank goodness), and not as cattle with all the same needs and proclivities. Schools these days are paying more attention to the individual characteristics of children than they ever did when I was a child. In my day, there was not a school in the land that created individualized lesson plans or learning programs for children with differing emotional backgrounds and characteristics. The programs are called “Special” for a reason. Let your children know they are “special,” not somehow “bad” or “less than,” and you will have taught them well.
3. I am to teach my children that failure is a fiction, that there is nothing they are required to be or to do to be eligible for a life of dignity and fulfillment, that they need not compete with anyone for anything. That they will never be judged, that they need not worry about always getting it right, and that they do not have to change anything, or "get better". How do I accomplish this teaching when I am sending them to public school everyday?
My friend, if you try to take spiritual teachings out of context and place them into the world on Earth without further explaining them, they will not make sense. The Bible will not make sense if you do that. For instance, the Bible teaches that if your children are rebellious and do not obey you, you are to take them to the town gates have been them stoned to death. (Deuteronomy). Of course, this teaching is seen as an allegory, not to be taken literally.
So let’s look at your separate statements in question #3 one-by-one:
“I am to teach my children that failure is a fiction...”
CWG says that failure is an illusion, in the sense that every bit of what human beings call “failure” has ultimately led to advancement on the path of our own evolution. The point of this teaching is that what people call “failure” is nothing more than a step in the direction of our ultimate advance, even as a “failed” experiment in a laboratory is always beneficial, because it tells us what does not work. How can anything that ultimately benefits us be called a failure?
This is the allegorical meaning of the teaching about Failure in CWG. So do not teach your children that failure is a fiction, teach your children that what others call “failure” is nothing more than one step in their ultimate advancement in life, and that what they learn from so-called failure is often more important than what they learn from “success”...as every mature adult has discovered time and time again.
Therefore, failure is not something to be ashamed of, but something to learn from, and grow.
I know a company that actually celebrates the mistakes and failures of its employees. That’s right. They actually throw an office party and everything. And do you know why? Because the boss is clear that the employee’s mistake will help the company in the long run to never go down that road again. What could be more useful than that??? That is the essential teaching here.
“I am to teach my children that...there is nothing they are required to be or to do to be eligible for a life of dignity and fulfillment.”
Nowhere in Conversations with God does this statement, or anything like this statement, appear. The statement that Requirement is an illusion refers to requirements that we imagine that GOD has of us.
The teaching is also to let us know that even human life does not have requirements, but only choices. There are choices we can make if we wish to live a life of dignity and fulfillment...but we are not required to make those choices. It all depends on what we want. It all depends on what kind of life we wish to live, and what kind of experience we wish to have in our daily encounters.
Teach your children, “You are not required to turn the light on when you enter a dark room. There’s no law that says you have to. No one will punish you if you don’t.
“You turn the light on when you enter a dark room—especially if it's a strange room—for a good reason: You do not want to trip and fall all over the furniture, or crack your knee into the sharp edge of a table, or break your ankle by stepping on something left in the wrong place.
“Nothing says you HAVE to avoid these things. You can decide NOT to turn the light on and take your chances walking across the room in the dark. And you might make it without hurting yourself, who knows? So why bother turning a light on? When you do, you don’t do it because you have no choice, but precisely because you DO. You can turn the light on and get to where you are going much easier. But there is no requirement that you do things the easy way. You can live your whole life the hard way, if you wish.”
THAT, my friend, is the teaching about Requirement.
“I am to teach my children that...they need not compete with anyone for anything.”
That is correct. They need not. Striving for our own goals is not the same as “competing” with others. Even as I, in this very moment, by striving to give you the best answer I can give to your question, am not “competing” with every other person who has even answered a question on the Internet.
Teach you children, “Doing your BEST does not mean making someone else WORSE.” Reaching for excellence has nothing to do with anyone else. It has to do with only the SELF. Life is not a “competition.” Life is a journey. Everyone gets to the same destination (which is ultimate self-realization, and ultimate reuniting with God, in heaven), but no one gets a “better” God or a “better prize” because they arrived first, or faster.
Picture a wonderful Thanksgiving Dinner. Mom calls out, “It’s ready!” No one gets “more” food because they “beat” the others to the table. Everyone gets to the table in their own time, but the whole family gets to enjoy the goodies, and there’s plenty for everyone, so no one needs to “compete” with anyone.
“I am to teach my children that...they will never be judged...”
Once again, this statement applies to GOD judging US, not to US judging each OTHER. Nowhere in CWG – not in one single place – does it say that people will never judge each other. It does say that we might benefit from stopping this, but it doesn’t say that we never do this. So do not teach your children that they will “never be judged.” Because they will be, by some people, and then they will think that you taught them badly. Teach your children, rather, that they will “never be judged by God.”
There is a difference.
THEN teach them to not judge others. Teach them that every other person is doing the best he can in any given moment, and invite your children to replace Judgment with Understanding as they walk the path of life.
“I am to teach my children that...they need not worry about always getting it right.”
Of course you should teach your children that. Who would teach anyone that they must always get everything right??? If a person is so scared to make a single solitary mistake, they will be afraid to do anything. They will be afraid to leave the house; to even leave their room; to even get out of bed.
“Who can live a life without making a single mistake? Of course you should teach your children “not to worry about always getting it right.” What else would you teach them? That the must always get it right? Wow, I hope not, because who does that? Not even the teacher in school always gets it right. There is no one on the planet who is “always getting it right.”
“I am to teach my children that...they do not have to change anything, or ‘get better’."
Again, the important words here are “have to.” People do not HAVE TO change anything, or “get better.” But some people may WANT to.
One day several years ago I was watching one of my teenage sons playing a video game over and over and over, for hours. Finally I said to him, “Why do you do that?” His answer was so simple. “I want to get better at it.” I said, “Why do you have to ‘get better’?” My son looked at me as if I was crazy. “Daaad,” he sighed, “I don’t HAVE to get better, I WANT to.” Then he sighed again, as if he was talking to a Martian, and turned back to his game.
Yes, teach your children that they don’t HAVE to change anything. They don’t even have to change their clothes if they don’t want to. Why bother? If they want the girls to say, “Oooo, you smell. Don’t you ever change your clothes?", let them. But if they WANT to change their clothes, let them do that as well.
Teach your children that they don’t HAVE to do anything if they don’t want to---but that there are Real-World Consequences to their choices and decisions. That’s why they’re called CHOICES, and not REQUIREMENTS. You are not REQUIRED to change your clothes. There’s no Law that says you have to.
The CWG message is about consequences and choices.
“How do I accomplish this teaching when I am sending them to public school everyday?”
Talk to your children about what they are learning in public school, and talk to them about what you hope they are learning at Home. Then teach them the difference, and inspire and encourage them to decide which teachings they want to absorb and want to make real in their lives.
Tell them that not everything they learn in their lives must be accepted as true for them. The gift of Free Will means they can decide for themselves which of the many things they have been taught that they wish to take into their lives as their own truth, and which ideas they want to not take into their lives. It is up to them. And tell them about the consequences of their choices, so that they can make INFORMED CHOICES. In other words, so that they can know what will most likely happen if they make certain choices.
Like this: If you get decent grades and graduate from high school, you will stand a better chance of finding a good job and being happy in your life. You don’t have to do this. You can get bad grades---you can even flunk completely out of school---and you will most likely not find a good job or be very happy in your life. At the very least, you’ll make it a lot harder. It’s up to you. You’re free to make your own decision about that. That’s what being grown up is all about. It’s about making your own decisions, based on what you have learned and what you can predict about the results of the choices you make.
4. Are F's on a report card not worth mentioning because they are just an Illusion of Ignorance?
See the answer above.
5. Is it still success in the absence of any effort?
Teach your children, “Success is a word that means ‘getting what you want.’ If what you want is to flunk out of school, to find it practically impossible to get a decent job, and to go through life being angry with everyone about everything because nothing works out for you without any effort from you, go ahead. You can be a ‘success’ at that. If that’s the life you want to live, go ahead and live it.
“I can tell you now that you’re not going to be very happy, but if you don’t care about being happy, then there is nothing anyone can do about that. You can be very ‘successful’ at being very ‘unsuccessful.’ Go for it. Just don't cry and complain later that someone ELSE is doing it to you. Just remember that you did it to yourself. AND...that you can CHANGE things whenever you wish. Even grown men have gone back to take high school courses over, so they can get their GED certificate. So you can change your mind about most things later, and that’s a blessing in life.”
6. Are parental imposed consequences for bad grades inappropriate if one seeks to live Life from the Ultimate Reality perspective, rather than from the perspective that the Illusion is real?
Parents cannot “impose” consequences, they can only announce them. If children don’t care about the consequences, they will mean nothing. If they do, then the consequences are not being “imposed,” they are merely being responded to.
For instance, I told my teenage son years ago, “You can get any grades you want, but I don’t have to agree with your choices. You get to be ‘free’ and I get to be ‘free.’ You get to make choices and I get to make choices. My choice is not to have you drive the car that I bought and paid for, with the insurance that I bought and paid for, if you come home with F’s on your report card. If you don't care about your F’s, I don’t care about your F’s. But you may care about driving the car. Or watching the TV that I bought and paid for. Or playing video games. The nice thing about my having worked hard all my life and having created this Home is that I get to decide what happens here.
“So there are consequences here...just as there are in the outside world. If you get caught running a red light, you get a ticket. Do it a lot of times and they take your Driver’s License away. If you don’t care, that’s your business. But they care about the safety of others on the road. That’s their business. So they have put consequences into the space. You don't have to obey the rules of Life, but you do have to pay the consequences. That’s true outside, and that’s true in this house.”
7. Am I to allow my teens freedom over their lives in order to show them that I love them unconditionally?
The freedom that you allow your children is the freedom to make choices, it is not freedom from all consequences. Loving someone unconditionally does not mean there are never any consequences to anyone’s actions. I love my best friend unconditionally, but if he comes over here and breaks all the dishes in my home and smashes his car into mine and throws yellow paint all over my house, there are going to be consequences. I won’t stop loving him—there is nothing that could get me to stop loving him—but there will be consequences.
Consequences do not mean “lack of love.” The two are not the same thing. Unconditional Love means exactly that: there is no condition in which I will not love you. But there are consequences to your choices. For instance, if you decide to smoke inside of any building you’re in, the consequence is that you cannot come into my home, because I don’t want smoking in here. That does not mean I do not love you. I don’t have to let you do anything that you want to me, simply because I love you.
8. Am I only to say "Yes" to my children because that is what God always says?
It is not necessary to say “yes” or “no” to children after they are out of toddler stage. Simply place age-appropriate choices in front of them and let them choose the outcomes in any moment that they prefer. You can teach Choice Making to a child at a very young age. Goodness, you can even teach Choice Making to a dog. You can certainly teach it to a child.
It is true that God only says “Yes” to us---AND....God also says, “Look closely at the consequences of your choices. Nearly all consequences are knowable ahead of time. Plant a radish, get a radish, not a Brussels sprout. This is not because God does not love you without condition. This is simply because radishes produce radishes, and not chocolate ice cream.
The Law of Cause and Effect is not evidence of an ABSENCE of love, but of the PRESENCE of love. It allows us to KNOW IN ADVANCE what is most likely to occur, and to take that into account when we make our decisions and choices. Of course, we can’t know everything for a certainty all of the time, but we can know about possible and probable outcomes enough of the time to at least help us make most decisions.
9. How do I handle their refusal to be helpful at home or to make good choices (failing grades, pornography abuse, promiscuity, disrespect of parental wisdom and advise) without imposing unnatural consequences or punishments? It would appear to me that sometimes natural consequences come too late in the game and often limit opportunities for dignity and fulfillment.
Tell your children about the natural consequences of choices, and tell them that, “naturally,” you are going to be upset by pornography abuse, for goodness sake, or promiscuity, and that the “natural” consequence of this is that certain outcomes at home will occur.
Tell them that it is “natural” for parents to be concerned about their children, and that it is out of “natural love” that you have put certain consequences into place. As for “disrespecting parental wisdom and advice” --- children have been doing that for thousands of years. I would actually say that, out loud, with my children. I would say, “Children have been disrespecting parental wisdom and advice for thousands of years. Then, when they grow older, they realize how much wisdom their parents had. You can do with this information as you wish. I love you no matter what. And I love you enough to put consequences of certain choices into place. So be it. That’s what a parent does.”
10. God advises to teach children well with actions not words; with demonstrations not discussions.
Good. Make your life a demonstration of all that has been said here.
11. It is what I do or have done that my children will emulate?
No. It is what they see you feeling about it that will make an impression. If you say, “I did this, and this, and this, and I don't give a damn who was hurt by it, or if I even hurt myself,” they may emulate your behaviors. If you say, “I did this, and this, and this, and I can tell you, there are some things that I wish I had never done, and I feel bad about them, and I would never, ever do them again,” then there is a good chance they will not adopt or duplicate your behaviors.
12. It is how I am that they will become?
No. You are not responsible for how your children become. You ARE responsible for how you MODEL NOW what you would wish for them.
13. Does this mean that only by changing myself can I hope to help my children?
It means that you will always be honest and open with your children and tell them about your own process and where you wish you had done something different, and even where you wish that you were doing something differently today. Simply communicate openly and honestly. That is all that anyone can ask of you.
14. Am I confusing being with doing here?
Let your Doing arise out of your Being, and let your Beingness decision be one of Love and Caring, of Patience and Understanding.
And remember—you, TOO, are not “REQUIRED” to be “ALWAYS GETTING IT RIGHT.”
IMPORTANT—PLEASE NOTE: Neale Donald Walsch is not, and does not represent himself to be, a Child Psychologist, Child Counselor, Child Therapist, or a member of any helping profession. His words here are meant to be, and should be understood to be, merely and simply and only his personal, untrained, and uninformed opinion. Please do not embrace or hold his responses here in any other light.
WOW! Thank you so much for your personal response to my topic, Teaching Children Well. I am unable to reply to you in that forum, so I hope that posting my gratitude here is not inappropriate. My heart is swollen with thanks and I'm just trying to find a place to let it flow out. My fear in posting was that my questions would be viewed as confrontational, not sincere, and that I would not receive a response. Boy, did I get a response! Your answers are so clear and wise. God has brought real understanding to me through you, understanding that is about to change everything. I deeply appreciate the time you spent considering and answering some of the most troubling questions I had as a CWG parent. I have printed out your response, and will keep it handy for remembering purposes. I am reading all of your books in order, and have just completed Communion with God. I like spending time implementing the wonderful truths I find in each book before I move on to the next. I live only a couple of hours up I-5 from you and would love to attend some of your classes and retreats in the future, that way we could actually meet in person. For now, I am totally thrilled with your personal response to my inquiries. I never dreamed my questions addressed to Laurie would receive an answer from you. WOW, again! I can see how this site has empowered me to ask the questions I was afraid to ask. I can see that the courage it took to ask them actually created sufficiency in me. I can see that my sufficiency brought the answers to me through your voice. Thank you Neale for being open, and thank you God for always bringing the best answers to me.
With deepest gratitude, sincerest thanks, and unconditional love,
Mindy in Oregon
.....An additional response we received through the website.....
Dear Mindy, and Neale,
These questions and answers are so powerful and so filled with lived wisdom. Mindy, your questions shine brightly, just as surely as Neales answers do.
My desire to become a better and better parent, was the impetus for my own arousal from a deep deep spiritual sleep. And, oh, how wonderful it is to be awake, and to now be discovering choices and making them for myself, and encouraging them for my children. This may be a life journey that I take again next time around, as well.
My children, like yours Mindy, have many special learning and parenting concerns. My children, like yours, are delayed in social, and emotional maturity. My children, like yours, have experienced many losses, the biggest loss being that of understanding their power. My children have medical and psychological issues. They have lived in multiple foster homes. They have been physically, spiritually, and emotionally victimized. They have mostly lost their connections to those who gave them life, while calling me to themselves, in order that we may live life together. They have been adopted by me, a blessing without end, but with a sad underbelly.
Yes, yes, I agree! It is this providing of choice to our children, in a conscious and wholesome, unattached way, that changes everything for them and for us. In this, they learn how all of life is connected, and glimpse the power they have. Conscious, informed choice (as Neale describes it) is so different from staggering through a dark room blindly (or through life asleep), thinking we understand. My children have given me back to myself, and I think that I am doing the same for them.
I love how Neale has described unconditional love: Unconditional Love means exactly that: there is no condition in which I will not love you. I understand that this is sometimes best demonstrated in what we do not say, think, or do...I no longer believe that I have to know all things, or that I must provide without limit to be a loving mom. Parenting is the tool that I have used to balance by humanness and my being, or to put it another way, to become a better human being. This, I think is the goal of spirituality, while in human form.
Neale, you have helped me clarify some things I have not had language for before, even as my heart has understood. Thank you!
Mindy, thank you for your courage to ask, and receive these answers, which are a gift to me as well! You have helped me understand better what I did not fully realize before, and that is that I have not fully embraced the idea that birth families and adoptive families truly are more alike than not.
Parenting Advice from Conversations with God